theMormonMind

Dear __________,

After nearly 23 years of being a faithful member of the Church, I have reached a point in my life when I must make a change. I find that, after many years of careful research, study and prayer, I can no longer defend many of the claims of the Church. I have instructed the Church to remove my name from its records and have resigned my membership.

I am writing you this letter to be honest with you, so that you may know firsthand of my decision and the reasons for it. This has not been a hasty decision. In fact, I have spent years searching for answers to some of my questions. Many of my conclusions were painful for me to accept at first; but, as I continued to discover more and more about the actual history of the Church, I became more and more convinced that my conclusions were correct. Overall, this has been a very enlightening and peace giving process.

Probably the most important reason for my writing this letter to you is that I value our friendship, and I sincerely do not wish you to be hurt in any way by my decision. I have great respect for you as a person, and I continue to respect your beliefs.

Having been a member of the Church for quite some time, I am well aware of the stigma attached to someone who leaves the Church. As members, we are taught that a person who leaves the Church must have something significantly “wrong” in their lives, possibly even some gross sin. This is drilled into us almost from day one. We even label those who leave as “apostates” or “ex-mormons,” and are encouraged not to associate with them any more - lest something “bad” happen to us, too.

Let me reassure you that such is not the case. I have challenges in my life every day, just like you do, and I face them as best I can. I am far from perfect. However, I am not beset with any gross sin that has destroyed my testimony. I was raised a Christian, and I still consider myself a Christian. My recent decision to part with the Church is not reflective of a decision to part with my moral values. These remain intact. Actually, having made my decision public, I can better preserve my integrity by being more true to myself and those around me. I love my family and my job, and I am immensely happy. I thank God for my many blessings.

I also want to assure you that I am not leaving the Church because my feelings have been hurt, or because I am angry with someone. I am neither angry nor upset in any way. I want to emphasize that this has been an objective decision - not an emotional one. I have gathered all the evidence I could find, examined it with an open mind, and concluded that the Church is not all that it claims to be. In fact, the Church has misrepresented itself to such a degree that I can no longer remain a member of it and be true to my own conscience.

In all truthfulness, I cannot say that this decision does not bring with it a measure of pain. Most of my good friends are members of the Church. I love you all. It saddens me to think that I will not have the privilege of socializing with you on as frequent a basis. Truly, I will miss this interaction. But, I must remind myself, each of us is literally only a phone call away. And why should friendship be confined to the walls of the meetinghouse anyway?

If I were you, I would be asking myself, “What could he have discovered about the Church that would so completely destroy his testimony?” Perhaps you are not as curious as I might suppose. But, just in case you are, I have attached a brief document outlining some of my reasons. I hope that you will at least look it over (If you’re not the least bit curious, then just throw it away.) Had I known these things when the missionaries came to my door, I would not have joined the Church. I have had to face the uncomfortable fact that the Church is neither completely honest nor forthcoming when it comes to the topic of its own history. Unless one opens their eyes and diligently “seeks after these things”, they won’t be found. I personally found strength and inspiration from these words: The Truth should be able to withstand scrutiny.

Finally, let me emphasize again that I greatly value our friendship and wish it to continue. As a friend, I know that you will respect my decision, even if you don’t agree with it. To my mind, this choice should have no bearing on our friendship with one another. I’m including my contact information below in case you want to call or write me, for any reason whatsoever. You can still count on me if you need my help with anything at all.

Sincerely,